Seems like depression is pretty much in my life to stay. I've looked at things I've written online and at home and it seems like I have a large circle going on that keeps coming around about every 5-7 years. How fun is that? It's a constant fight/struggle to maintain a normal happy. I now don't believe it's possible to do. Esp. without a job. At least with a job you can afford at least one doctor appointment now and then.